Location: St Albans
We are womb twin survivors, helping other womb twin survivors. We are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. Every one of us lost their twin around birth or during pregnancy. This happens to 10% of the population, but very few of the persons concerned realise it. We are ignored and overlooked and people say we are just weird, neurotic or crazy. We have to help each other, because even some therapists don't know about it and recognise it as a real loss. We are working hard to disseminate good quality information to everyone who may be interested, but it's very difficult and expensive to do. Everyone has heard of vanishing twin syndrome but very few people realise that there is a definite psychological effect on the survivors. We try to tell the world about this but no one listens to us.
Some quotes from the stories by womb twin survivors:
"I have a huge ability for output as if I am living for 2 people continuously"
"From a young age I felt the world was unfair, felt abandoned somehow and was described by social workers as 'a very solemn little girl'. I had an imaginary friend as a child who I believed was an angel from God and I wanted to be with. My mum told me I was a twin when I admitted how I felt, thinking the world was cruel and wanting to join my angel friend after my first suicide attempt when I was eight years old."
"I feel less like I am a complete person and more like I am two halves of different female - a very strong, effeminate female and a boys' boy. I am constantly at odds with myself and seek dualities in everything, things that are "the opposite but the same," to put it in a friend's words. Even though I am biologically female, I have big hands, a very square jaw, a happy trail, and I find it very easy to build muscle. I feel sad and alone all the time, a deep, almost paralyzing loneliness."
"A big problem is living without my twin in a harsh violent and superficial society. I can't seem to thrive as a single twin. The loss is overwhelming."
We have gone all out to use the digital media to send out information to the womb twin survivors of the world and help them where we can. We have a web site www.wombtwin.com using a CMS system with several editors, all managed by a skilled volunteer. We have a forum on Yahoo! managed by two womb twin survivors - http://health.dir.groups.yahoo.com/group/wombtwin/. We have a blog with additional pages - http://wombtwin.blogspot.com/
We set up a world wide blog last summer - http://wombtwinworld.blogspot.com/ - with editors form various countries - we hope to have 50 editors or more, all posting regularly. In the last two months we have had a memorials site where womb twin survivors can remember their lost twins - www.altheahayton.com/memorial
We have a Facebook page with 101 fans. www.facebook.com/pages/Saint-Albans-United-Kingdom/Wombtwincom-Ltd/76266143240
We have a Twitter account for wombtwin and we are learning how to use that.
We use Mail Chimp for our monthly email newsletter - http://eepurl.com/bs6gT
We have created a playlist on YouTube but do not yet have a company video - www.youtube.com/user/wombtwinsurvivors
We have set all this up so that people who are womb twin survivors or think that they may be, can find their way to free, good quality information online.
Althea Hayton, founder of wombtwin.com and herself a womb twin survivor, has been researching this area for the past 8 years. She has created an online questionnaire, using Survey monkey, has a comprehensive web site of her own and offers ongoing support to womb twin survivors by email and Skype. She has received a thousand completed questionnaires so far, many of them with a story attached, and many of them expressing great thanks for the information. which is very reassuring and affirming. There is now an increasing number of womb twin survivors who with help have come to terms with their loss and are now prepared to offer help to other womb twin survivors. Small groups are beginning to form, and the blogs and forum are creating a sense of fellowship and community among this scattered group.
"I have never experienced such rapid, deep transformational healing from any other modality than your womb twin survivor work."
"I don't even know where to begin. I just found out last weekend that I was a twin. Apparently, I had a brother who died within days, possibly within hours of our birth. Somehow this is very shocking, but at the same time I almost feel vindicated. My sister thought I knew. My mother never told me. Still, I remember being told by my mother that I had a fantastic imagination when I would "make up stories" about having a brother (I have four living sisters). I also remember having a very special imaginary friend (about age three). I would cry hysterically when I thought we were leaving him behind somewhere. This explains so much, and at the same time leaves me wondering about so many things."
"I have always been fascinated with twins and wished I was a twin. I am a only child, my mother miscarried three pregnancies, one before me the rest after, the final of which was confirmed triplets. She told me when I was older that she thought she was losing me because she began bleeding sometime during the first trimester, she went to the doctor and I was still there. I did some research and discovered information on vanishing twin and womb twin, I feel like that must be me, I always wanted a twin, (still do) and wished for siblings, particularly a big brother. I want to know for sure, was I a twin?"
"I think life can be beautiful and this world too...but I just haven’t ever felt like I should be here. Half of me isn’t even here and I felt that before i knew i was a twin. I don’t know whether my chronic loneliness, mute-ness and feeling like I shouldn’t be here is anything to do with having been a ‘Womb Twin Survivor’. I’d never heard of it before or thought that might be why I don’t remember a time I didn’t feel like half of me is missing."